I know what you're going to say: K., you're not allowed to complain, most students would dream of a job like yours. To that I say sure, but most students aren't very ambitious either. So here is what I find truly idiotic about my workplace:
1. The constant, never ending, limitless pride these people take in what they do.
Seriously, it's not even that impressive. Most people around me spend a solid 50% of their day on their phones. The other 50% is divided between getting lunch and coffee. The trick is to appear busy. If you appear busy and you over-inflate the value of the work you produce, you'll be able to get away with pretty much anything. These projects aren't even making a profit most of the time...
2. If you want a monkey that inputs data into a spreadsheet, hire a high schooler.
Unbelievable. Why did they hire a Masters student to input data from one PDF file to an excel spreadsheet. It doesn't take any stills to do this. In protest, I do it very, very slowly. It's also a good idea to hire a business analyst (as requested during the interview) and then not let him... business analyze things.
3. Who in his right mind would shove 3 people in a tiny room with no windows?
This is disgusting. There are plenty of empty cubicles that actually have natural lighting. Instead of making us feel like we are a member of the team, the students are shoved into this small closet-like office with no windows and 4 fluorescent lights. This inevitable leads to annoyance. From the girl behind me who just decided the desk reserved for my team should be hers to the guy to my left who told me about this for some reason, it is hard to stay calm when people are constantly looking at your screen.
4. Furniture from the 70s. Isn't the government embarrassed?
Seriously look at this shit:
My desk is the one to the right. The cabinets come exactly to my eye level. They aren't even attached to the desk, so this could have been an easy fix... if only the people I work with would help me move this ridiculously heavy thing. Instead, they don't want the schlep. They would literally prefer me to have back pain than to help for 3 seconds. My manager was no different. When I approached her, she asked me how tall I was. Most people picture modern offices and high tech when they think of government work. The reality is outdated technology (Windows 7, Office 2010) and less than sub-par office space.
5. Screw your student meetings... and useless meetings in general... and your chain mail.
Seriously, meetings for students every week? I can hardly believe it is someone's job to organize this. Why? We don't even get to communicate! These meetings are done so that other departments can show off their work to clueless students that might consider it an opportunity to work with them. And what about those "team update meetings" where you have to come up with something to tell your manager to give the impression that you're very busy doing important work? Why is this necessary? Also, for G-d's sake please get yourself a team chat. Outlook is not made for 1 sentence replies. The other day, the manager send out the following email to the entire team:
I mean, seriously? My inbox is full of messages like that.
Sometimes I wish they would just fire me. Then I remember how much paperwork I would have to do and how much explaining I'll engage in at my university that I just resort to waiting for this contract to be over. Never again, the looks of the office should have been a red flag during the interview.
1. The constant, never ending, limitless pride these people take in what they do.
Seriously, it's not even that impressive. Most people around me spend a solid 50% of their day on their phones. The other 50% is divided between getting lunch and coffee. The trick is to appear busy. If you appear busy and you over-inflate the value of the work you produce, you'll be able to get away with pretty much anything. These projects aren't even making a profit most of the time...
2. If you want a monkey that inputs data into a spreadsheet, hire a high schooler.
Unbelievable. Why did they hire a Masters student to input data from one PDF file to an excel spreadsheet. It doesn't take any stills to do this. In protest, I do it very, very slowly. It's also a good idea to hire a business analyst (as requested during the interview) and then not let him... business analyze things.
3. Who in his right mind would shove 3 people in a tiny room with no windows?
This is disgusting. There are plenty of empty cubicles that actually have natural lighting. Instead of making us feel like we are a member of the team, the students are shoved into this small closet-like office with no windows and 4 fluorescent lights. This inevitable leads to annoyance. From the girl behind me who just decided the desk reserved for my team should be hers to the guy to my left who told me about this for some reason, it is hard to stay calm when people are constantly looking at your screen.
4. Furniture from the 70s. Isn't the government embarrassed?
Seriously look at this shit:
My desk is the one to the right. The cabinets come exactly to my eye level. They aren't even attached to the desk, so this could have been an easy fix... if only the people I work with would help me move this ridiculously heavy thing. Instead, they don't want the schlep. They would literally prefer me to have back pain than to help for 3 seconds. My manager was no different. When I approached her, she asked me how tall I was. Most people picture modern offices and high tech when they think of government work. The reality is outdated technology (Windows 7, Office 2010) and less than sub-par office space.5. Screw your student meetings... and useless meetings in general... and your chain mail.
Seriously, meetings for students every week? I can hardly believe it is someone's job to organize this. Why? We don't even get to communicate! These meetings are done so that other departments can show off their work to clueless students that might consider it an opportunity to work with them. And what about those "team update meetings" where you have to come up with something to tell your manager to give the impression that you're very busy doing important work? Why is this necessary? Also, for G-d's sake please get yourself a team chat. Outlook is not made for 1 sentence replies. The other day, the manager send out the following email to the entire team:
Sometimes I wish they would just fire me. Then I remember how much paperwork I would have to do and how much explaining I'll engage in at my university that I just resort to waiting for this contract to be over. Never again, the looks of the office should have been a red flag during the interview.
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