I'm a liar. I say that without shame because I take pride in my lies. They aren't harming anyone. If anything, they are actually making my life more interesting than it actually is; making it more enjoyable to the listeners.
In my humble opinion (not that I'm a humble person, that's just formalities... who the f**k invented such non-sense?) there are two types of lies.
First, there is the harmful lie. Those are the lies that will harm the person your lying to and eventually harm you. All I'm saying is this: if you cheated on your girlfriend, don't say you didn't. Instead, make the event better than it actually was! That brings us to the second type of lie. The fun lie. If you're in sh*t and you know your at fault, you ought to make your story as impressive as possible. Nobody knows that the person that you cheated with was so bad that you wish you didn't because your current girlfriend gives you such better sex? Why embarrass yourself even more? Make that event something you're proud of.
Here is an example. I was tutoring this individual, let's just call her S. Obviously, it's impossible to be tutoring someone for 1.5h straight. So much math would blow up anyone's brain. So we took little breaks discussing some aspects of our lives. Obviously, she found nothing better to ask than about my girlfriend. I told her I recently broke up with mine. She asked what happened. Now I could have told her the actual truth, that I got annoyed by her drinking and clubbing habits, but I knew that wasn't the story she wanted to hear. That's a boring story, nobody wants that. Instead, I spitted out a story about a lovely romantic relationship, full of flowers and walks under the moon. I could see I got her attention by how she would hang on to every single one of the words that came out of my filthy mouth. She enjoyed it; she was hearing what she wanted to hear. As I was getting bored of my own imaginative story, I decided to spice it up a bit. I told her that my other ex, whom I was previously madly in love with, wrecked the newly formed love in seek of revenge. I narrated a story in which my clingy ex destroyed a relationship by kissing me by surprise at the wrong moment. Pathetic? Yeah, I agree. But in all honesty, the story matched the level of the listener. For lame people will always want to hear lame stories. My best friends receive the best stories I can come up with.
For those of you who are thinking something along the lines of ''what an asshole'' I say (quote) this: ''Hey, Baby, when I write (speak or narrate) I'm the hero of my own shit.''
- Charles Bukowski
This is why you shouldn't give sh*t to liars. They are doing their best to make the story less harmful or more entertaining for you. Be grateful.
In my humble opinion (not that I'm a humble person, that's just formalities... who the f**k invented such non-sense?) there are two types of lies.
First, there is the harmful lie. Those are the lies that will harm the person your lying to and eventually harm you. All I'm saying is this: if you cheated on your girlfriend, don't say you didn't. Instead, make the event better than it actually was! That brings us to the second type of lie. The fun lie. If you're in sh*t and you know your at fault, you ought to make your story as impressive as possible. Nobody knows that the person that you cheated with was so bad that you wish you didn't because your current girlfriend gives you such better sex? Why embarrass yourself even more? Make that event something you're proud of.
Here is an example. I was tutoring this individual, let's just call her S. Obviously, it's impossible to be tutoring someone for 1.5h straight. So much math would blow up anyone's brain. So we took little breaks discussing some aspects of our lives. Obviously, she found nothing better to ask than about my girlfriend. I told her I recently broke up with mine. She asked what happened. Now I could have told her the actual truth, that I got annoyed by her drinking and clubbing habits, but I knew that wasn't the story she wanted to hear. That's a boring story, nobody wants that. Instead, I spitted out a story about a lovely romantic relationship, full of flowers and walks under the moon. I could see I got her attention by how she would hang on to every single one of the words that came out of my filthy mouth. She enjoyed it; she was hearing what she wanted to hear. As I was getting bored of my own imaginative story, I decided to spice it up a bit. I told her that my other ex, whom I was previously madly in love with, wrecked the newly formed love in seek of revenge. I narrated a story in which my clingy ex destroyed a relationship by kissing me by surprise at the wrong moment. Pathetic? Yeah, I agree. But in all honesty, the story matched the level of the listener. For lame people will always want to hear lame stories. My best friends receive the best stories I can come up with.
For those of you who are thinking something along the lines of ''what an asshole'' I say (quote) this: ''Hey, Baby, when I write (speak or narrate) I'm the hero of my own shit.''
- Charles Bukowski
This is why you shouldn't give sh*t to liars. They are doing their best to make the story less harmful or more entertaining for you. Be grateful.
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